These are some things I'm learning as a new mom:
- How to blog with one hand, since my little buddy is going through a "hold me at all times" phase.
- Nothing makes me want to do a cannon ball off Niagara Falls quite like the sound of an explosion in a diaper I just changed 2.5 seconds ago. Well, the spontaneous pee fountain might come close.
- As much as I'd like to have the cleanest baby on the block, sometimes I forget when his last bath was. When he starts to smell like cheese that's been sitting around in a hot crawlspace, that's a good reminder that it might be time.
- When a tiny pair of socks can't be conveniently located, he might just have to accompany mommy to the Starbucks drive-through barefoot if she has any hope of staying functional for the rest of the day.
- Speaking of tiny socks, they now pop up everywhere like Easter Eggs when you least need them: on the coffee table, behind the trash can, in my pocket.
- Didn't you hear? Spit up stains on shirts are the new rage. I'm sure Lady Gaga will wear one during her next tour. No one will judge you if you don't change.
- Sometimes that 4 a.m. feeding is a little beyond my skill set and I just end up unconscious.
- In the interest of mommy not breaking down in tears every time she looks in the mirror, it's ok for him to fuss a bit every now and then while she runs a flat iron through her hair.
- I didn't know how much I could love someone who denies me so much sleep.
Leslie Dunn is a Roswell resident. She also blogs at www.snarkmom.com.
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