I Hate You, Holcomb Bridge

If you don’t live in my city or the metro Atlanta area you might not be familiar with the horror that is Holcomb Bridge Road. I actually grew up along this delightful chunk of asphalt and now still live in close proximity to it, meaning that I have to drive on it nearly every day to get almost anywhere. Nothing kills my soul quite like this road, and I have no idea how my parents dealt with it for 20 plus years. 

I don’t know what it is about ol’ Holcomb that makes you feel like you are driving into the pit of hell. Perhaps it’s the lights every 20 feet that are completely unsynchronized, resulting in eternal stop-and-go traffic (really great for the weak pregnant bladder when you gotta go). Perhaps it’s the road’s dysfunctional relationship with GA 400, a highway that is often its own cesspool of wrecks and speeds maxing out at 15 miles per hour. Throw a school bus in there dropping off our future generation of leaders and stopping traffic every five minutes and you’ve got yourself a recipe for a stroke. 

In a true act of heroism, Caveman (my husband) actually showed me a back road that allows me to endure Holcomb Bridge for a mere tenth of a mile before getting on the highway. And while this route isn’t always perfect and traffic-free, it is a HUGE improvement. I weep with joy almost every time I use it, and as I look down at all the steaming miles of Holcomb Bridge untraveled by me, I shake my fist at them and scream, “You have not defeated me! You hear me, stupid unsynchronized light-filled road? You are my mortal enemy, and I win!” 

It’s the little things.

Previously published at www.snarkmom.com.