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How Driving On GA 400 Is Like Being In High School

You thought you were out of high school, but if you drive GA 400 for your commute, look for the Bullies, the Nerds and the Beauty Queens.

I’m a daily GA 400 driver. Many of you are, too. Have you ever noticed that this daily 1 to 2 hour trek is a lot like being in high school again? Here are a few examples:

The Football Hero - Like a quarterback executing a running play, this person believes that as long as they keep changing lanes to pass other cars, that they are getting to their destination faster. They zip and slip, from left lane, to middle, to right lane, back to middle, cutting off other drivers as if they’ve just robbed a bank and are trying to elude the police. If you tried to point out to them that they are really not making any headway, they would not believe you. Somehow, they never notice that you keep catching up with them every few minutes.

The Bully - This is the person with anger management issues. They will get right up behind you, so close that you can see their angry face behind the windshield, honking their horn, flashing their high beams -- and why? Because they want to go much faster than you are, and you’re in their way. Surely, they could just go around you, as the highway has 4 lanes on which to travel, and eventually they do that, usually in a pedal-to-the-floor fashion, just inches from your door handles. They need to let you know how furious they are that you made them slow down.

The Beauty Queen - This woman is still putting on her make-up, using the rear-view or visor mirror, as she inches down the road, because sitting in traffic is a great time to multi-task.

The Quiet Nerd - This person is just trying to get to work in one piece, as they pick the lane they’ll need to be in when they exit 10 miles down the road and stay there, trying to not hit the person in front of them as the traffic suddenly slows down while simultaneously not be bashed in the rear by The Bully or The Beauty Queen. They don’t have to worry too much about the Football Hero, because he’s already passed them. Several times.

The Troublemaker - This person thinks the rules don’t apply to him. He passes on the shoulder, even when it’s not allowed after 9:30 a.m. He texts while driving. When traffic allows, he thinks the “fast lane” means the “20 miles over the speed limit lane.” Sometimes, he is also the The Bully or the Football Hero.

The Teacher - These are the cops sitting on the shoulder handing out detentions - I mean, tickets, for breaking the rules. You didn’t notice it’s after 9:30 a.m. as you zip down that shoulder lane? You weren’t “texting,” you were dialing the phone? Too bad for you.

Which one are you? Are you ready to graduate from this version of “high school?” I surely am.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

Julie Hollingsworth Hogg December 14, 2012 at 12:56 PM
Love it!
Lynn December 14, 2012 at 04:17 PM
While I agree with most of this, I have one problem. Those of you in the left lane, texting or talking, going 10 miles an hour under the speed limit, are the problem. Not the bullies, pretty girls, and jocks. "Slower traffic keep right" is more than a suggestion. Also, when you go to pass these morons, they suddenly wake up and increase their speed 10-15 miles per hour. Trust me, once I start to pass you I will pass you...how close our cars come is up to you. I guess that would make them, not me, the bully. And I fight back against bullies.

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