Valentine Gift Guide #2: The Gift of Time

This is our second gift guide in this series, based on the five love languages described in Dr. Gary Chapman’s bestseller, The Five Love Languages.  Today we’re discussing the perfect gift for someone who speaks the second love language, “quality time.”

If your spouse or significant other speaks the love language “quality time,” she prefers to spend one-on-one time with those she loves.   The quality time person is the one who most often will:

• Drop everything to talk to you when you’re happy or sad or upset
•  Plan coffee and dessert dates or other activities that focus on the person she’s spending time with rather than the activity
• Make comments like “you’re always so busy,” “I never see you anymore,” or complain that your job/hobby/other-time-intensive-activity is “more important to you than me!”

The perfect gift for the quality time person will involve undistracted, personal attention and quality conversation that included plenty of sharing and listening. 

Romantic Date

Although a romantic date is something of a Valentine’s Day cliché, it’s still a wonderfully appropriate gift for the quality time person.  There are, however, two key elements necessary to make sure this comes across as a thoughtful gift rather than a stereotype. 

First, consider the right location.  A trendy restaurant is okay, but a small, intimate location that’s off the beaten track is better.  Consider scheduling a breakfast or lunch date at the cute and intimate little French bistro, Douceur de France (on Alpharetta Street), for example.  Although the restaurant isn’t open for dinner, the breakfast and lunch menus will please the most discriminating foodie’s taste buds, and because it’s not well known—yet—you’ll still be able to have a conversation without yelling at the top of your lungs.

The second key element is the build-up.  When you schedule your date, be sure to let your quality time person know how much you’re looking forward to spending time with her.  Send her an email or text message the night before, reiterating how you can’t wait to see her.  And when the time comes to pick her up or meet, be prompt.  Forget being on time—arrive early!  These actions will help to convey that spending time with her is really important to you and that’s what will make this date meaningful.

A Date Book

Another creative way to convey the same thing –that spending time with your quality time person is very important to you—is to give her a “Date” book.  Purchase an appointment book from an office supply store and then use an ink pen to schedule in weekly “me and you” time every week for the rest of the year.  Wrap the appointment book up in pretty paper and attach a heartfelt note. 

The success of this gift is dependent on you making a point to remember the dates you’ve written in the appointment book so make sure you keep a record for yourself and set reminders.   Again, build up counts—you’ll gain more kudos if you send HER a reminder about your date that week than if you show up late or need reminding.  Also, it’s very important that you completely devote that scheduled time to her.  No multitasking allowed!